Why am I suffering...Where is God?

A comment was left that on the section the God of Providence (01/05/2008) that said:

Do you trust God with all your heart, even though you don't know how He's going to get you through something?

This struck a cord with me because it is something that I have struggled with many, many times. There is my response:

Sorry to get back to you so late, but I had a call out Friday that went all night...etc...Etc...

I have struggled with this area and one of the things that helped me was to look at the lives of the seminal figures of the Bible.

Abraham (Abram)

Was forced to leave his family (father/brothers/except for Lot) take his barren wife and go to a land that was foreign to him. Famine hits, flees to Egypt passes his wife off as his sister and only with God’s interdiction does she not become sexually involved with the Pharaohs. Saves Lot by butchering his hostage takers and gets inpatient waiting for Sara to become with child so he impregnates Hagar. Sara gets pregnant. He splits with Lot, God sees if he is willing to sacrifice his son, gets the land his is promised, is tormented by the child and that chid's children he has with Hagar and dies.

Moses

Is spared from the order of the Pharaoh to kill all first born male children when mother drops him in a river and he is taken into the Pharaoh's household. Grows up kills slave master who is whipping the Hebrew slaves, returns the next day and the very Hebrews that he aided turn on him, he flees into the desert. Sees burning bush told to see the Pharaoh and he tells God that he can not because he stutters etc. Is forced to go to the Pharaoh and is not successful till the firstborn of Egypt’s sons are killed. Flees into the desert, parts the red sea, speaks with God gets the 10 commandants while his own people have abandoned him and turned from God. Hits a rock, watches time and time again while his people fall away and are punished by God, is denied entrance into the Promised Land and dies.

Elijah

Pops up tells King Ahab of God’s coming judgment because of Ahab’s wife Jezebel, among other things and is forced to flee for his life. Fed meat by Ravens, drinks out of a brook and complains. Is saved by a widow, Comes back challenges the Baal priests, wins, has them killed and is forced to flee the wrath of Jezebel. Fights with her son Ahaziah and gets taken into the air on a whirlwind. Comes back to speak to Jesus and disappears.

John the Baptist

Son from an elderly and barren mother. Forced to flee into the desert, wears a hair coat, can not drink and eats honey and locusts. Starts his ministry as a precursor to the coming of the Lord. Meets and acknowledges Jesus as the Christ. Gets thrown in prison all the time and finally get his head cut off for his troubles.

Paul(Saul)

Held the cloaks of the citizens stoning Steven. Had arrest warrants and pulled Christians out of their homes to be imprisoned and killed. Struck down by God on the road to Damascus, blinded and sent to the very people he tried to kill and who hated him. Converted and sent the rest of his life telling the good news of Jesus the Christ, being thrown into prison, traveling incessantly, finding his way to Rome to die.

What you see is a pattern that consists of three things: First they are all sent into situations by God that not only do they not understand why are doing these things but further they do not want to go and in most cases involves great personal risk. Second, they suffer for doing the acts that God commanded them to do and it should be noted it is great suffering. Lastly all sinned and fell from Gods plan, but all stopped, repented were punished and then finished by standing in the place that God originally commanded them to be in.

As I see it, we are made to suffer. When life is the darkest it is because of one of two things: we are in Gods plan or we have fled from Gods edicts. But the main factor is that we suffer. I have been plagued by the incorrect idea that the lack of pain in my life is a sign that I am on the right path of God. When reality that very well may be the sign that I am not doing what I am supposed to do.

God is always there. Job suffered by doing exactly what God wanted him to do. When we suffer because of the evil we have done God is there waiting for us to repent. But repenting does not mean an end to suffering but rather it comes two fold; correction for what we have done and suffering for carrying the cross of Christ.

Look at Jesus, sinless and yet he suffered horrible torture and death in order to save us from Hell. He was perfectly in God’s will and yet he was hated, mocked and killed. Why should our lives be anything different?

You ask: Do you trust God with all your heart, even though you don't know how He's going to get you through something?

I answer: Yes because I already know the ending. I will be with Christ in Heaven and his enemies will be cast into the pit. The rest is just trying to endure and focus on keeping the next step on the straight and narrow path.

It’s like dumper cars. You want to get from one side of the track to the other while everyone else is trying to dump you out of the way. Sometimes they succeed; sometimes I make an error in steering but as long as I keep my goal the finish line I will eventually get there. But if I focus on every hit or every mistake and spin around trying to find the meaning behind their strike on my car or seek justice with each driver, I soon loose sight of the end and run out of time.

Suffering for Christ is glorious. You justice will come, it was promised. God is always there and our singular reward is also the greatest reward. Heaven.

One of my favorite verses: Acts 5: 41-42

41 The apostles left the Sanhedrin, rejoicing because they had been counted worthy of suffering disgrace for the Name. 42 Day after day, in the temple courts and from house to house, they never stopped teaching and proclaiming the good news that Jesus is the Christ.

My last class finished

At 1800hrs today I took my last test for my last class and I have completed my Masters in Police Psychology at the Adler School of Professional Psychology.

It has been a long two years but it feels strange now that it is over. This program was in God's plan for me because it came in a very unexpected way and at a time in my career when it was on life-support (or really patrol support, I was not in danger of loosing my job but I was in danger of having a patrol only career).

I can look back at my life and readily identify the different life changing decisions and crossroads, but rarely have I had the privilege of seeing one that was before me. And well... here one is...

Because I never really permitted myself to consider the fact that I was close to finishing my degree, I never thought about what I would do with it once I had achieved it. I will be shown the right path in time if; I pray, watch, consult the Bible and search for the answer.

The one thing I do know is that if you told me two years ago I would now have a masters degree and be in a great, new, position with my department, I would have had you committed for nonlinear thinking. I wonder what two years from now will look like? The ride with Christ is never boring and he certainly keeps you guessing.

Psalm 34
The LORD, a Provider and Deliverer.
A Psalm of David when he feigned madness before Abimelech, who drove him away and he departed.
1 I will bless the LORD at all times;
His praise shall continually be in my mouth.
2 My soul will make its boast in the LORD;
The humble will hear it and rejoice.
3 O magnify the LORD with me,
And let us exalt His name together.

August 9, 2008

Just a list

I was thinking the other day, about how I have been moved by many songs but few albums in their entirity produced the same reaction. Here is a list of Albums that I just went WOW and then played the cr!p out of them. In no particular order....

Green Day-Dookie
The Who-Whose Next
Moody Blues-Days of future past, In search of the lost cord, A Question of balance
David Bowie-Diamond Dogs
AC/DC-Back in Black
Guns n Roses- Appetite for destruction
Super Tramp: Breakfast in America
Asia: Astra, Asia
Crash Test Dummies: God Shuffled his Feet
Enigma: MCMXC a.d.
Henry Mancini-The pink panther
R.E.M.-Green
Dire Straits: Brothers in Arms
William Shatner: Has Been
Final Fantasy X: Sound track

Lake Nipissing - Ontario Canada

My wife's grandparents bought a lake house on Lake Nipissing some forty years ago. It became a summer vacation for the grandparent's grand kids (Some 25+) of which my wife was one. She has been trying to talk me into going for a number of years and for the first time this year I was able to go. So we loaded the two kids in the minivan and drove the 12 hours up to the cabin.

There is an outhouse and you bathe in the lake. Your cellular telephone probably will not work (my two did not), the best television channel is blurry, and the radio will only get two stations.

This was not only a vacation away from work and a chance to spend some quality time with the family but a vacation from all the distractions of modern life. We swam, we fished, we jumped off of rocks into the water, played board games, water skied, tubed, canoed and slapped mosquitoes.

We all need rest and a time to refocus on what is really important; the love for our Lord and the love for our family. Police Officers tend to get locked on the job and quickly discard all the other more important tasks of family and faith. A good break/rest/vacation should allow a re-prioritization of life in general. Our family is not there so we can work but rather we work so that we can partake of family.

Genesis 2:2
By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all his work.

Leviticus 23:39
" 'So beginning with the fifteenth day of the seventh month, after you have gathered the crops of the land, celebrate the festival to the LORD for seven days; the first day is a day of rest, and the eighth day also is a day of rest

Molson XXX

While we were vacationing in Ontario Canada, I went to the "Beer Store" (actual name) and a fell into a scene right out of Strange Brew (they're at the beer store trying to get a free beer because of a mouse in the bottle).

Anyway I discovered my new favorite beer. Molson XXX. It is an extra-strong larger beer 7.3% that I have never found in the US.

It obviously has a kick but it is a unique combination of smooth with a bit of a sweet after taste.

I recommend it.

Proverbs 20:1
Wine is a mocker and beer a brawler; whoever is led astray by them is not wise.

Ignite Chicago

Carol and I went with two other couples to the Ignite Chicago Concert Festival at Alexian Field in Schaumburg Illinois.

We arrived at 2:30pm and left after 10:30pm. We were on wet muddy grass, the heat was well over 92 degrees and we were in the full sun for all but the last hour and a half. But it was all well worth it. When Christ is invoked by his followers the power of his spirit is almost tangible.

Matthew 18:20 (Jesus said) For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them."

What a wonderful recharging session. I can not help but be up lifted when I see 10,000+ professed Christian listening to musicians that are dedicated to the Lord to such a degree that they are passing up all the riches a secular musical career would bring, for the purpose to praise and evangelize for Jesus. And well...the bands also ROCKED!

We as Christian sometimes feel like we are all alone trying to push the water back into the sea but in reality God is sufficient and all powerful. Seeing all of us with the faith and dedication to profess our love and faith for Christ, make it a little easier walking through our fallen world. We are not alone, God is with us, but also so our are brothers and sisters, people for us to pick up and to be picked up by.

The schedule was:
Newsboys (excellent)
Mercy Me (Always excellent)
David Crowder Band
Hawk Nelson
Superchick
Todd Agnew
Red
John Reuben
JAEL

Willie Nelson

Carol and I went with two other couples to a Ravinia Festival (their language) on June 20th and saw Willie Nelson and James Hunter.

Wow, words fail me, what a great concert. We set up a huge blanket on the grass, ate blue cheese potato salad, drank free Goose Island Beer and listened to Willie and company.

Willie does not have a long touring life ahead of him so if he comes to your town quickly go see him! I got to see Johnny Cash in concert at the House of Blues in Chicago right before his health declined and every time I tell someone that, they always say they wish they had been there.

So go before he goes!

Time to take stock

Please read the entry right before this one first.

One of the worst ways to die on duty (well there is really never a good way) is by your own gun. I can think of only one other officer related death that is worse then having your gun taken away from you then used on you, it is the following (AUSTIN, Texas (AP) -- A police officer died early Sunday after she got out of her patrol car to chase a man on foot and was run over by her partner. Officer Amy Donovan was on patrol late Saturday when she and her partner, officer Adrian Valdovino, saw someone engaged in "suspicious activity," said Police Chief Stan Knee. Donovan jumped from the car to question the man, but he fled on foot. Valdovino put the car in reverse to try to stop the man and the car struck Donovan, the chief said.)

The primary reason for the stigma of getting killed with your own gun is that you brought and paid for the weapon that was used to kill you and further the murderer was able to take advantage of you and kill you. So on top of everything else you lost the physical altercation along with loosing your life. We spent hours in police academies training in firearms retention drills to prevent this from happening.

The death of this officer should be a wake up call for all of us. This is the time to make something positive out of the death of a good man.

Ask yourself these questions: 1. am I in good to excellent physical shape? If not get started getting back into shape. You must be ready for the fight because you never know when and where it will happen. 2. do I have the best equipment Right here right now? There is never a good reason to have a level one holster. Spend the money buy the best, it will save your life. Police officers are notoriously cheap, remember your life is priceless. In this officer shooting if he had a level 2 or 3 holster he probably would be alive. 3. How is my Officer safety and environmental awareness? Are you allowing the suspect access to your gun side? Are you going to calls before your backup gets there? Are you ready to combat any and all threats to your life? I bet if we asked this officer a week before he was killed what he thought his chances of getting disarmed and killed by a fat middle aged crazed woman, he probably would say that would be nearly impossible. Remember with firearms everyone is equal.

It is easy and I have fallen into this trap also, to become complacent when you have been there and done that...you have fought against the best and won...etc. It is hard to stay sharp and not find contempt for the job once a number of years go by with very little experience in true threats to your life.

BUT YOU HAVE TO PLAN FOR THE ONE IN A MILLION. IF IT NEVER COMES THEN YOU WIN, IF IT COMES THEN YOU ARE READY TO FIGHT BACK. IF YOU DON'T PLAN AND IT NEVER COMES YOU WIN, BUT IF IT FINALLY COMES AND YOU DON'T PLAN FOR IT THEN YOU DIE.

Be ready, be safe, be alive...you serve the public so that you can go home to your family.

Proverbs 20:18
Make plans by seeking advice; if you wage war, obtain guidance.

Proverbs 21:5
The plans of the diligent lead to profit as surely as haste leads to poverty.

Proverbs 16:3
Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.

Another fallen officer...May he rest in peace.

A Chicago officer was shot and killed last week. Here is the article about him in the Chicago Tribune. I want to point out that the family would put up with his killer till she caused them too much trouble and then kick her to the streets so that should would become our (the police) problem. I wonder how the officer's future would be different if his killer's family had properly executed their responsibilities rather then dumping them on all of us.

Slain officer a beat cop to the core
By Angela Rozas and Robert Mitchum | Chicago Tribune reporters
11:26 PM CDT, July 2, 2008

When Chicago Police Officer Richard Francis got roughed up by a drunk a few weeks ago, injuring his back, his fellow officers told him to take it easy and ride out the rest of his year or two on medical leave before retiring.

But soon, Francis, a 27-year veteran of the department known to many as "Buzz," was back at the Belmont District roll call. He told his brothers in blue that they would have to push him out. When he did finally leave, he would do so quietly. They would never know he retired—he would simply not be there one day.

Early Wednesday morning, while on a seemingly routine assignment on patrol alone, Francis was shot and killed in a struggle with a woman who had caused a disturbance with a CTA bus passenger less than a block from his police station, police said.

The woman, whom sources say sometimes slept at the police station and was often erratic and incoherent, shot him in the head with his service weapon before she was shot several times by responding officers at about 2 a.m. Francis died about an hour later in Advocate Illinois Masonic Medical Center. The woman, 44, remained in critical condition Wednesday night.
It's a tragic loss for his family. It's a terrible loss for the Chicago Police Department," Police Supt. Jody Weis said. "It's a stark reminder of what the dangers this department and its officers face everyday."

Colleagues say Francis, 60, was the quintessential Chicago street cop, the officer you met if you ran a red light in Lakeview, got rowdy at a Roscoe Village bar, or got arrested and won a personal tour of the back of his squadrol.

Francis walked with an identifiable gait, the product of a bad knee from an unruly arrest he made years ago. But the leg never got him down. Nothing much did.

He loved his job manning "the wagon" on an overnight shift populated by officers half his age. "Life is beautiful," he'd tell anyone who would listen, even when it wasn't. He had a lot of loves: his wife and two stepchildren, his basset hounds and several motorcycles.

"Buzz was stubborn," said Norman Knutson, his most recent partner of eight years. "He drove his partners crazy. He was a character, and everybody loved him. He stuck on the job because of the camaraderie with the guys."

"He was just one of those guys who came to work every day, didn't complain, didn't whine and did a good job and went home to his family," said Belmont Area Deputy Chief Bruce Rottner. "Those are the guys who never get in the papers, never get accolades, never get awards, but those are the guys that are the backbone of the police department."

Despite his seniority, Francis chose the overnight shift because he liked the quiet pace and the time it gave him during the day to help care for his adult daughter, Bianca, who has special needs.

A longtime bachelor, he married his wife, Debbie, 10 years ago and took to family life, recalled Tom Casey, a friend who knew Francis since 1st grade. Francis paid college tuition for his wife's other daughter, Amanda, and spent most of his time off with family, colleagues said.

Francis joined the force in his 30s after graduating from St. Gregory's High School and doing a tour during the Vietman War in the Navy's elite Seals program. After the Navy, he worked as a building engineer at the Union League Club downtown.

Francis was inspired to become an officer by Casey's father, who was a Chicago police officer and a mentor to Francis after his own father died when he was a boy, Casey said. He worked patrol in the Monroe and Near North Districts before joining the Belmont District eight years ago, earning 35 honorable mentions and a commendation from the department.

He loved country music, to the chagrin of his partners, and happily sang along to oldies rock 'n' roll. He teased his partners, chattering on the police radio by adding "Nam" to every other word, a reference to his Vietnam experience, Knutson said.

Even though his primary job was to transport arrestees, his love of the law wouldn't let him abide any lawbreaking, and he would pull over anyone he saw disobeying traffic laws, Knutson said.

"He was a stickler for traffic laws," Knutson recalled. "He didn't really want to write people up, but he just wanted them to know what they were doing wrong. He hated criminals, and he hated traffic violators, but if you were in dire need, he went above and beyond."

Francis had a sense of humor about his work, too, and would often pick up trash left in his wagon from a previous shift and send it in office mail to the officers who worked the previous shift.

"He'd say just clean it out," recalled Belmont District Officer Dennis Mushol, who at one time worked the wagon before Francis. "Everybody loved him. Everybody is just numb here."

Francis recently transferred back to a regular beat car and was working alone near Belmont and Western Avenues just feet away from his police station when he saw a CTA driver waving him down, police said.

When he stopped, the driver and a passenger told him the woman was causing trouble. He radioed for backup and got out of his vehicle. The woman, 4-foot-11 and an estimated 290 pounds, approached him. As he tried to usher her away, she became irate and struggled with him, grabbing his holstered gun, police said. She shot Francis as other officers arrived and rushed forward, they said.

She may have fired at those police officers as well, sources said, before they fired several shots, wounding her. No charges were filed against her by Wednesday night.

The woman, who according to court documents has no criminal record, was familiar to officers at the Belmont District, sleeping occasionally in the women's bathroom or in chairs in the district, police sources said. A current address for the woman matched an East Garfield Park shelter where staff did not remember the woman but said that Chicago detectives had come by Wednesday, showing photographs.

Some police officers said privately that they believed Francis should not have been working the beat alone that night. A departmental agreement dating to the 1960s suggests that officers should not work in cars alone after dark for safety reasons.

But the policy isn't binding and allows room for officers to be placed alone in cars unless they complained. Few do, officers said. As a result, many officers work patrol alone, especially in lower-crime neighborhoods.

Knutson said he rode with Francis' body from the hospital to the morgue, trying to honor the years the two spent together working their own squadrol.

"I didn't want to go . . . but how many times did he and I take people to the morgue?" he said. "He was my partner. I had to go with him."

Tribune reporters Dan P. Blake, Monique Garcia, Karl Stampfl, Mary Owen and David Heinzmann contributed to this report.

Funeral

Today, I attended the wake of the wife of a good friend and co-worker from my department. They are both believers, one has her belief now confirmed and one is having his and his two children's' faith tested.

I saw the usual emotions and actions that go along with a wake/funeral. Consoling, wondering, advice giving, sorrow, loss, regret...but I did see one difference at this funeral verses the many others that I have seen.

The difference was hope.

I saw hope on the face of the grieving husband. I saw hope on the face of the grieving daughter. I saw hope on the face of the grieving son.

Hope found in the faith of the promise made by Jesus that while she may now be dead and lost to them, they will see her again.

Such a simple formula, understanding that we sin and we can never stop sinning, understanding that Jesus is the son of God and perfect, accepting Jesus into your heart and giving up all your sin to him so that it can be wiped clean on the cross and then allow the Holy Spirit to come in. 30 seconds maybe...?

And that allows these three people access to his promises...that death is not the final answer...life is to be found at the end of the road not oblivion.

The loss is still felt, the questions about cancer and fairness will remain unanswered, fear of the future and the new journey alone will all remain. But the small bright light in the far distance in the midst of the darkness is hope.


Luke 23:43
Jesus answered him, "I tell you the truth, today you will be with me in paradise."

2 Timothy 1:10
but it has now been revealed through the appearing of our Savior, Christ Jesus, who has destroyed death and has brought life and immortality to light through the gospel.

John 6:47
I tell you the truth, he who believes has everlasting life.

Revelation 21:4
He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."

Indiana Jones

I went with my wife and Ross to Indiana Jones and the Temple of the Crystal Skull. The movie was adequate but mainly disappointing when compared with the previous three.

However the biggest thing that has been bothering me about the movie is the way in which they handled the magnetism of the crystal skull. Indiana Jones finds himself in the warehouse at Area 51 and has been ordered to find the crate that the Russians are looking for, so he throws up gunpowder into the air and the extreme magnetism of the skull draws the gunpowder to it through the air. Then there is a scene as they are pulling the crate out, that the the magnetism of the skull draws the dog tags of the soldiers to it. Another scene shows gold coins being dragged to the skull through, once again, magnetism.

Here is my problem...gold coins and aluminum dog tags are not ferrous metals thus are not magnetic. Further anything with that amount of magnetic power to draw metal to it though the air would require a huge amount of energy/force to pull an item attracted to it, off of it. However in the movie they walk over to the skull and lightly pull the object stuck to it, off of it. And to top it all off in a number of scenes people are riding in metal jeeps/transports/planes holding the Crystal skull that has suddenly decided not to attract anything...should the skull not stick to the metal jeep?

Anyway if they wanted to add this plot element to the script why not think it through...it only came out as stupid and further alienated everyone from crossing from this is kind of stupid, to what a cool adventure story. Factor in the aliens and getting blasted by a nuclear explosion in a refrigerator you have the recipe for a lame movie.

Fobus

I have spent the last decade in patrol so I really have not picked up any concealable/tactical: holsters, magazine holders or hand cuff cases. So now that I almost exclusively working in plain clothes. I have finally decided to purchase some to replace my two 10+ year old leather pancake holsters.

I did some research and I finally decided on Fobus paddle style holster/cuff case and dual magazine holders. I received them today and I have to say I am very happy with the purchase.

There seem a brilliant convergent of reasonable price, low weight and seem excellent in their job of retaining my two Glocks, hinged handcuffs and double stack magazines.

This was originally an Israeli company that created this system for their countries law enforcement and military use. All of it is injected molded polymer with few individual parts.

Something you may want to consider when it comes to replacement time.

How will you be remembered when you are gone?

I was reading the Chicago Tribune when I came across the article of the tragic shooting of Chicago Elementary School Teacher Erika Prince. I was saddened as I read the news story but when I came to the following statement by one of her students I was stunned. Here is is (From Chicago Tribune By Karl Stampfl and Dan P. Blake | Tribune reporters 10:59 PM CDT, June 2, 2008):

One of her students, Brandon Russel, an 8th -grader, tried to put into words how he felt about Prince. "She was everything to me," he said. "She took me to church and got me saved. She made me step up and make it to graduation."


What an amazing woman for God. That is how I wish to be remembered (well minus the woman part and clearly I need to work a lot harder) not as a police officer, not as a friend, not as a success or as well educated. I want to be remembered as one who did the work of the Lord.

SHE TOOK ME TO CHURCH AND GOT ME SAVED...as a worker in the Chicago Public School System!

That is the key to our existence and that is the only true Gold to be found in this life and that's is how I wish to be. A man of God who took me to church and got me saved.

Romans 10:9
That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.

Another one lost

I was at work when a friend and teammate came in and told me that another one of his friends on a different department had committed suicide earlier this week with his service weapon in the front lot of his department in his personal car.

These acts are becoming alarmingly and tragically too common. We are currently killing ourselves at a rate higher than twice the rate at which we are murdered. We are worse on ourselves than the bad guys are on us.

Law enforcement now has the highest rate of suicide when compared to any other profession.

We are trained and strive to be independent and emotionally bullet proof. There are no easy answers to this problem. But each and everyone one of us can take positive actions to at least stem the bloody tide, lets all start right now and really pay attention to the officers around us. Ask questions and become more involved in their lives and INTERVENE. Maybe one of us can help another not become one of them.

John 13:34
"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.

Romans 12:10
Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.

God is in Control

By nature and further by training, Police Officers charge into problems and take control. On the street it is imperative for an officer arriving on scene to take absolute and immediate control in order to keep him/herself safe, maintain the safety of the public and to control evidence. Officers who come in softly or allow others to dictate the situation rarely are successful or injury free.

However, with God this situation is the exact opposite. HE is in control and we are to follow God's urgings rather than direct our own lives. This can be incredibly hard for someone in law enforcement to do. I can not tell you how may problems that I have made worse, when I go charging ahead on my own strength and drive, with an eye to solving what ever is troubling me, when in reality I make the situation much much worse.

Finally, after so many doors at work were closed in my face (usually blooding my nose) I finally had to come to grips with the fact that, by my hand I could do nothing to fix what I had done (with the best of intentions but I really kept shooting myself in the foot) and had to step back and for really the first time, place it completely in his hands. And the result, after nine months of trust and faith, an opportunity arose that no one could have predicted and further if somehow they would have known would never have thought I would have been in trusted with it. GOD was working.

Another situation has just arose that reminded me of this lesson that I had to learn. I have to admit that I racked my brain on how I would be going about fixing the situation (this time not self-inflicted for a change). But a solution would not present itself. I then stepped back and again placed it into God's powerful hands. I would like to say that I did not worry but it did stay in the back of my mind. However, again without any actions of my own, it worked itself out in the only way it could have, that would have garnered a positive result. Again my lack of action and God's providence provided an outcome that was greater than anything I could have accomplished.

Trust in the Lord and he will always keep his promises-on his own time in his own way.

Psalm 27:13
I am still confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the LORD
in the land of the living.

Unassisted Triple Play

I was watching ESPN Sports Center when I heard about the unassisted triple play that
Asdrubal Cabrera of the Cleveland Indians turned.

The description from The Cleveland Indians Official site (http://cleveland.indians.mlb.com/news/article.jsp?ymd=20080512&content_id=2686835&vkey=news_cle&fext=.jsp&c_id=cle)

The play came about with the game locked in a scoreless tie, Cliff Lee on the mound, Kevin Mench on second, Marco Scutaro on first and Lyle Overbay at the plate. The Jays attempted a hit-and-run with both runners going, and Overbay smacked a sinking liner up the middle. Cabrera, manning second base, made a diving catch of the ball near the bag, stood up, stepped on second to retire Mench and tagged Scutaro for the third out.


I thought that was cool and unusual but then I found out that there have been only 14 UTP's since 1936. To put that into prospective a perfect game has been pitched 17 times. So the UTP is a very rare animal.

That got me to thinking what is the rarest record in baseball? The answer: 2 no-hitters in back-to-back starts Number of occurrences: 1 Johnny Vander Meer June 11, 1938 (Boston Bees) and June 15, 1938 (Brooklyn Dodgers) for pitching and 2 grand slams in an inning Fernando Tatis, April 23, 1999 for hitting.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AUG6e3xyH_0

Second Phase

I was told this story from a friend of mine the other day, his words...

At the range the other day, I walked over to one of the agents that I had known when he was still in the field asked him what this reteired agent what he was going to do. He said he had gone back to school. He was asked by another agent what program he had joined and he said "mechanics school". We all thought that was cool and told him so and he shared with us the three classic cars he already owned that he had planned to rebuild once he finished his classes. At this point another agent pointed out that he was taking classes that were advanced way beyond simple vehicle repair and rebuild.

The retired agent looked at him and said, "well that's right. I plan to go to Africa and help the people there. I need to know how to rebuild things like power generators and well pumps when they go out at churches and stuff." The group of agents paused and finally one said, "what for like, the peace core?". The retired agent just said "no not them" and walked away......

When I heard this story I realized right then that this agent was going to use the opportunity open to all of us in law enforcement in that we basically retire with a max of 30years on leaving 20+ years of working life left to go. This retired agent was going to use the security of his pension to educate himself and travel to Africa in the mission field and help.

What an incredible opportunity for all of us to serve in whatever way we wish once our police career comes to a close, that few other people have in any profession. I have to say that I was heartened and inspired by this retired agent's plan. It goes to show that even when we are finished with our career our career still aids us in full filling God's plan in places where we never thought we would go and after we have hung up our gun.

Joshua 22:5
But be very careful to keep the commandment and the law that Moses the servant of the LORD gave you: to love the LORD your God, to walk in all his ways, to obey his commands, to hold fast to him and to serve him with all your heart and all your soul."


Acts 11:18-20
18When they heard this, they had no further objections and praised God, saying, "So then, God has granted even the Gentiles repentance unto life."
The Church in Antioch
19Now those who had been scattered by the persecution in connection with Stephen traveled as far as Phoenicia, Cyprus and Antioch, telling the message only to Jews. 20Some of them, however, men from Cyprus and Cyrene, went to Antioch and began to speak to Greeks also, telling them the good news about the Lord Jesus.

Doctor Who

I am a huge fan of Doctor Who. The show originally ran on British television starting 1963 and ended 1989. I found the show much like I found all my favorite British television shows (Monty Python, Black Adder, David Allen, The Young Ones), after coming home late Friday or Saturday night from some kind of "goings on" and flipped on Channel 11 (local PBS)and there was this strange cheap sci-fi.

The series was reincarnated and back on the air in 2005. I have resisted watching it till now because I did not believe it could have possibly been as good as the old series. Wow was I wrong. Not only is the show on par with the original but it has sired two spin offs, Tourchwood and Sara Jane.

I now have once again reserved Saturday as my Doctor Who day, but this time I have the added bonus, Ross and Rebecca now sit with me a watch it.

Psalm 104:14-15
14 He makes grass grow for the cattle,
and plants for man to cultivate—
bringing forth food from the earth:
15 wine that gladdens the heart of man, oil to make his face shine, and bread that sustains his heart. (substitute Doctor Who for Wine).

God is Sufficient

I have recently completed the 2-week DEA sponsored undercover illicit drug training. The last speaker (right before the certification test) was Jack Harris (Ret-Tucson Police Department). Jack's presentation was a simple but important one. His main point was: change what you can control and choose to not worry about what you can not control.

This is an area that I have struggled with my entire career. It was very comforting knowing I am not the only one that strives to overcome this issue. I have caught myself many times getting anger over decisions that negatively affect me and my career, that I had no way to control. This can lead to bitterness and as a point of fact in every department there are a group of older officers that hate everything and everybody. They are the ones that lost this fight. When you strive hard to change the world and get beaten down in the process bitterness is often the result.

This is a Biblical principle also. God calls upon us to worry and strive to have our next small step to be as close to the step Jesus would have taken as we possibly can and not to worry about the 20th step. The long term plans are for God to ponder if we just make the best step each time we will arrive at the destination that God intended. Railing at what we can not control will only lead to frustration leading to anger then leading to bitterness and bitterness is deadly, not only for us but for all who care about us.

Matthew 6:25-27

Do Not Worry
25"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life[a]?