Police Humor is also a little.........rough
It is the end of the week for my shift key, the end of the duty day and there were three of us left in the locker room. My two shift mates are in the first bay and I am alone in the second. As we are all ripping off our gear and uniforms, the quickest way possible to get our days off time maximized, a conversation springs up between the two officers about their family plans for the weekend. This rolls on for a little while and when it has run its course, they feel the social obligation to ask me the same question they had asked each other.
So I share with them that my two children will both be out of town at different winter camps for the weekend, making it a date night for my wife and I. One of the two asked me for the names of the camps and I informed them that it is through my church, Harvest, for both kids. Officers are never one to miss the opportunity for a pun and so I am asked, "So what, they are heading out to gather some corn?"
I respond, "No that's a common misnomer, what they actually do is head out into the night and harvest organs from unsuspecting citizens from different towns, pack them in ice and place them into their bathtubs with a phone on their chest with a note to call 911 as soon as they wake up. It's what we do to fund raise. The irony is that our biggest market for our organs is India for people missing their organs that had this happen to them and their parts shipped here. It's the circle of life."
Then one of the two said, "Look all I was trying to do is make a simple joke about harvesting grain because of your church's name and instead I got a run down of your whole weekend." By this time I had completed my change over to civilian clothing and walked over to their bay. Challenged by his comment, I started breaking down my entire weekend minute by minute.
The first responded by saying, "bye, thanks, have a good weekend", and with his pants unzipped and unbuttoned hopped out of the room trying to move and get his boot on simultaneously I followed the other one out into the hall still breaking down the weekend when he suddenly put his fingers in his ears, started transitioning between humming and yelling, "I cant hear you!". Then with fingers in place and maintaining his humming and shouting, he sprinted up the stairs and past the roll call in progress, looking for all the world like a ten year old that doesn't want the secret revealed.
I simply got to walk to my personal car with a grin on my face.
Do not eat the meat raw or boiled in water, but roast it over a fire—with the head, legs and internal organs.