Explorations in Policing, Faith and Life (With a hint of humor, product reviews, news and whatever catches my attention)
Showing posts with label death. Show all posts
Showing posts with label death. Show all posts

Thursday, August 25, 2011

I'm Back...wet and a little poorer, but still back.

Well its been interesting.  The hole in the roof, followed by the flood in the basement and the passing of my wife's Great Aunt have made for an interesting time.  My house looks like its owned by a hoarder with a split personality, one side as nothing the other side is stacked to the ceiling.

But I have managed to dig my computer out and posting will resume as things normalize around here.


We have kept a few things of my wife's great aunt to remember her by.  I have a large glass lamp (3' 2") sitting on my desk as I write this, that was in her home (pictured).

We are not defined by our things but sometimes, for others, our things can be signposts of places we have been and people we had once driven by together and one day will again.


Joshua 4:6-8

6 to serve as a sign among you. In the future, when your children ask you, ‘What do these stones mean?’ 7 tell them that the flow of the Jordan was cut off before the ark of the covenant of the LORD. When it crossed the Jordan, the waters of the Jordan were cut off. These stones are to be a memorial to the people of Israel forever.”

8 So the Israelites did as Joshua commanded them. They took twelve stones from the middle of the Jordan, according to the number of the tribes of the Israelites, as the LORD had told Joshua; and they carried them over with them to their camp, where they put them down.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Quick Emotional Decisions make for...

I believe there are three types of decisions.  The "A" decision-the one that helps you.  The "C" decision-the one that does not help you but does not hurt you either, and the "F" decision-the one that hurts you.

Two huge factors in determining which type of decision will be the result of your the judgement you caste, is the decision time frame crossed with the level of emotion at the point of the choice.  Simply put, quick emotional decisions make for more "F" decisions and the opposite make for more "A" decisions.

I just recently spent a week in the hospital when my wife's great aunt was stricken ill and via the E.R. was placed into the I.C.U. (and I.C.U. too).  The relative is in her early nineties and does not get around easily but other than that her health is basically good.  She had developed Pneumonia and was having trouble breathing and fluid was building in her lungs.  When she made it to the I.C.U., they also discovered that she had a large bleeding ulcer in her stomach that required a tube to be inserted into her nose down to her stomach for drainage.  She also had an infection that required an IV drip of antibiotics.  She was in bad shape.  When we arrived, she did not look good, so I began trying to prepare my wife for the worst.  A short time later my mother-in-law arrived and the nurse then stepped into the room.

The nurse said, "Okay I was told by the doctor to wait till you got here to start the morphine drip, so I'll just start it now.

My mother-in-law then said, "Oh no your not, I know what the morphine is for (have you heard any songs by Youth In Asia?)...and it will depress her breathing so it will not be used."

The nurse, looking perplexed said, "I spoke to the doctor and he said...".

But my mother-looked-up and said, "I will not permit the morphine to be used."  The nurse then went away looking puzzled.

The next day the elder care physician came in and took the position that the morphine should be used to ease my wife's great aunt's suffering because this patient would not recover and it would be cruel to allow her to continue to suffer.  Again my mother-in-law said "no" and the doctor then stormed off.

Now my mother-in-law is a R.N. and had already planned for this eventuality (the relative/patient was in her early 90's after all) and had set up the parameters for the use of morphine or not, long before this day.  Now the rest of the family started rolling in.  One brother of my mother-in-law came in frantic and upset and decided morphine was the right thing to administer.  He was followed by his sister and then the other brother and all voted for the morphine.  Their decisions were made in the height of emotion and extremely quickly.

The conclusion?  The elder relatives infection is now gone, her ulcer has stopped bleeding and the tube has been pulled.  She is eating on her own and is now without any supplemental oxygen and will be leaving the I.C.U. any day now.

So the "A" decision was to keep her alive and the "F" decision would to have killed her with the morphine.  Too short decision time frame and too high emotionally would have killed the elderly patient had my mother-in-law not had the power of attorney and made a good decision before she arrived at the hospital.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Crisis-provides proof of who you really are

I was randomly watching the TV the other day to burn up some time before I had to pick up my kids from whatever they were doing (their so busy that I can not remember what it was) when I came across a History Channel show about the Battle of  Fredericksburg.  The battle that turned into a meat grinder for the Union Army as they vainly tried to take a hill that the confederates were holding from a sunken road and a stone fence.  It’s a story that concerns heroic bravery, inept military leadership, an essay of the temporal nature of life and the mercy of one man.

It got me thinking about the nature of war and the basic nature of a true life and death crisis.  A number of people around me have stated at one time or another that they do not know or really understand who they are, what abilities they have and what is inside their core being.  All people wear masks, whether Christian or secular, we all try to hide who we really are.  We try to minimize our flaws, our base carnal nature, and over promote our gifts.  We get so good at masking who and what we are loose the sense of our true selves.  We end up wearing a mask to disguise us from ourselves.

Life and death crisis strips away our masks and reveales our true nature not only to ourselves but to all of those around us.  There is no time to carry all the layers of lies around when survival is at stake, we just have time to react as we are.

I have been in this situation a number of times and the results have been, at best, mixed.  There have been times when I have shown what the light of Christ in a life can produce and I have also shown what a flawed sinful person can produce.  It has always been eye opening.   

I am a work in progress, taking guidenence from the Bible, daily prayer, accountability to fellow Christians, to hopefully improve the core of the true me to come one tiny bit closer to God’s own heart.


I want to be Richard Kirkland, The Angel of Marye's Heights.  Not the Richard Kirkland that fought for the wrong side of the Civil War which fought for evil ideals, but the Kirkland that found himself in crisis at the Battle of Fredericksburg.  I want to be Kirkland at that one place at that one time.  I want my core to be this believer's heart of mercy that day for that reason.

His Story:

December of 1862, Kirkland had become a combat veteran, having seen action at 1st Manassas, Savage Station, Maryland Heights and Antietam. He had also witnessed the death of several of his best friends.

During the Battle of Fredericksburg on Dec. 13, 1862, Kirklandâs unit formed behind the Stone Wall at the base of Maryeâs Heights and helped slaughter the Union attackers. After a day of severe fighting, the scene shifted from severe fighting to tremendous suffering.

After dark on the 13th, doctors and soldiers began caring for the injured. The walking wounded made their way to the rear while those with disabling wounds remained on the field.

Daylight on the 14th revealed a ghastly scene to the Confederates behind the Stone Wall. About 8,000 Union soldiers had been shot in front of the wall and many of them remained where they had fallen. As hours went by without food, water or medical treatment, their suffering increased.

Nearby soldiers from both sides listened to the painful cries and pleas for help. While the suffering emotionally moved many, none dared face almost certain death to provide help.

At some point in the day, Kirkland could no longer bear listening to the pleas, so he walked over to the home of Martha Stevens. He went upstairs and told General Joseph Kershaw, his brigade commander, that he would like to try and help the wounded Union soldiers.

The surprised general at first refused the request, but he later relented. Kirkland gathered all the canteens he could carry and filled them at the near by water well. Then, at extreme risk to himself, he ventured out to help the Federal soldiers. He carried water and warm clothing to the suffering Federal soldiers.

He ventured back and forth several times, giving the wounded Union soldiers water, warm clothing, and blankets. Soldiers from both the Union and Confederate armies watched as he performed his task, but no one fired a shot. General Kershaw later stated that he observed Kirkland for more than an hour and a half. At first, it was thought that the Union would open fire, which would result in the Confederacy returning fire, resulting in Kirkland being caught in a crossfire. However, within a very short time, it became obvious to both sides as to what Kirkland was doing, and according to Kershaw cries for water erupted all over the battlefield from wounded soldiers. Kirkland did not stop until he had helped every wounded soldier (confederate and federal) on the Confederate's end of the battlefield. Sergeant Kirkland's actions remain a legend in Fredericksburg to this day.

I want to be Kirkland, a heart for at least one day that was the heart of Christ, the heart of mercy, the true light of the Divine out the core of himself.  So far I am far short.

Matthew 20:31
The crowd rebuked them and told them to be quiet, but they shouted all the louder, “Lord, Son of David, havemercy on us!”


- Christian Cop - Christian law enforcement - Christian Officer

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Greg Laurie


I had the privilege of meeting Greg Laurie and his son Jonathon (really mostly Jonathon) when they came to my church to speak and for a book signing. I was very impressed with Jonathon-a guy who was sick, that just got off a plane and still had the time to share his message and spend a little time with this knuckle head. We all have our stories about where we were before we came to Christ and what changed after but few have the ability to articulate the journey Greg and his family have been on.

Saying your a Christian is easy when the times are easy but the real proof of a transformed life is when the trials and the tragedy come.

He tells his story here



Titled I Still Believe

Ask or look up white arrow stickers/pins (Christopher Laurie).

Psalm 59:16
But I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble.

PS more than 600 people received Christ between the three services where Greg and Jonathon preached together.

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Another fallen officer...May he rest in peace.


A Chicago officer was shot and killed last week. Here is the article about him in the Chicago Tribune. I want to point out that the family would put up with his killer till she caused them too much trouble and then kick her to the streets so that should would become our (the police) problem. I wonder how the officer's future would be different if his killer's family had properly executed their responsibilities rather then dumping them on all of us.

Slain officer a beat cop to the core
By Angela Rozas and Robert Mitchum | Chicago Tribune reporters
11:26 PM CDT, July 2, 2008

When Chicago Police Officer Richard Francis got roughed up by a drunk a few weeks ago, injuring his back, his fellow officers told him to take it easy and ride out the rest of his year or two on medical leave before retiring.

But soon, Francis, a 27-year veteran of the department known to many as "Buzz," was back at the Belmont District roll call. He told his brothers in blue that they would have to push him out. When he did finally leave, he would do so quietly. They would never know he retired—he would simply not be there one day.

Early Wednesday morning, while on a seemingly routine assignment on patrol alone, Francis was shot and killed in a struggle with a woman who had caused a disturbance with a CTA bus passenger less than a block from his police station, police said.

The woman, whom sources say sometimes slept at the police station and was often erratic and incoherent, shot him in the head with his service weapon before she was shot several times by responding officers at about 2 a.m. Francis died about an hour later in Advocate Illinois Masonic Medical Center. The woman, 44, remained in critical condition Wednesday night.
It's a tragic loss for his family. It's a terrible loss for the Chicago Police Department," Police Supt. Jody Weis said. "It's a stark reminder of what the dangers this department and its officers face everyday."

Colleagues say Francis, 60, was the quintessential Chicago street cop, the officer you met if you ran a red light in Lakeview, got rowdy at a Roscoe Village bar, or got arrested and won a personal tour of the back of his squadrol.

Francis walked with an identifiable gait, the product of a bad knee from an unruly arrest he made years ago. But the leg never got him down. Nothing much did.

He loved his job manning "the wagon" on an overnight shift populated by officers half his age. "Life is beautiful," he'd tell anyone who would listen, even when it wasn't. He had a lot of loves: his wife and two stepchildren, his basset hounds and several motorcycles.

"Buzz was stubborn," said Norman Knutson, his most recent partner of eight years. "He drove his partners crazy. He was a character, and everybody loved him. He stuck on the job because of the camaraderie with the guys."

"He was just one of those guys who came to work every day, didn't complain, didn't whine and did a good job and went home to his family," said Belmont Area Deputy Chief Bruce Rottner. "Those are the guys who never get in the papers, never get accolades, never get awards, but those are the guys that are the backbone of the police department."

Despite his seniority, Francis chose the overnight shift because he liked the quiet pace and the time it gave him during the day to help care for his adult daughter, Bianca, who has special needs.

A longtime bachelor, he married his wife, Debbie, 10 years ago and took to family life, recalled Tom Casey, a friend who knew Francis since 1st grade. Francis paid college tuition for his wife's other daughter, Amanda, and spent most of his time off with family, colleagues said.

Francis joined the force in his 30s after graduating from St. Gregory's High School and doing a tour during the Vietman War in the Navy's elite Seals program. After the Navy, he worked as a building engineer at the Union League Club downtown.

Francis was inspired to become an officer by Casey's father, who was a Chicago police officer and a mentor to Francis after his own father died when he was a boy, Casey said. He worked patrol in the Monroe and Near North Districts before joining the Belmont District eight years ago, earning 35 honorable mentions and a commendation from the department.

He loved country music, to the chagrin of his partners, and happily sang along to oldies rock 'n' roll. He teased his partners, chattering on the police radio by adding "Nam" to every other word, a reference to his Vietnam experience, Knutson said.

Even though his primary job was to transport arrestees, his love of the law wouldn't let him abide any lawbreaking, and he would pull over anyone he saw disobeying traffic laws, Knutson said.

"He was a stickler for traffic laws," Knutson recalled. "He didn't really want to write people up, but he just wanted them to know what they were doing wrong. He hated criminals, and he hated traffic violators, but if you were in dire need, he went above and beyond."

Francis had a sense of humor about his work, too, and would often pick up trash left in his wagon from a previous shift and send it in office mail to the officers who worked the previous shift.

"He'd say just clean it out," recalled Belmont District Officer Dennis Mushol, who at one time worked the wagon before Francis. "Everybody loved him. Everybody is just numb here."

Francis recently transferred back to a regular beat car and was working alone near Belmont and Western Avenues just feet away from his police station when he saw a CTA driver waving him down, police said.

When he stopped, the driver and a passenger told him the woman was causing trouble. He radioed for backup and got out of his vehicle. The woman, 4-foot-11 and an estimated 290 pounds, approached him. As he tried to usher her away, she became irate and struggled with him, grabbing his holstered gun, police said. She shot Francis as other officers arrived and rushed forward, they said.

She may have fired at those police officers as well, sources said, before they fired several shots, wounding her. No charges were filed against her by Wednesday night.

The woman, who according to court documents has no criminal record, was familiar to officers at the Belmont District, sleeping occasionally in the women's bathroom or in chairs in the district, police sources said. A current address for the woman matched an East Garfield Park shelter where staff did not remember the woman but said that Chicago detectives had come by Wednesday, showing photographs.

Some police officers said privately that they believed Francis should not have been working the beat alone that night. A departmental agreement dating to the 1960s suggests that officers should not work in cars alone after dark for safety reasons.

But the policy isn't binding and allows room for officers to be placed alone in cars unless they complained. Few do, officers said. As a result, many officers work patrol alone, especially in lower-crime neighborhoods.

Knutson said he rode with Francis' body from the hospital to the morgue, trying to honor the years the two spent together working their own squadrol.

"I didn't want to go . . . but how many times did he and I take people to the morgue?" he said. "He was my partner. I had to go with him."

Tribune reporters Dan P. Blake, Monique Garcia, Karl Stampfl, Mary Owen and David Heinzmann contributed to this report.

Friday, June 27, 2008

Funeral


Today, I attended the wake of the wife of a good friend and co-worker from my department. They are both believers, one has her belief now confirmed and one is having his and his two children's' faith tested.

I saw the usual emotions and actions that go along with a wake/funeral. Consoling, wondering, advice giving, sorrow, loss, regret...but I did see one difference at this funeral verses the many others that I have seen.

The difference was hope.

I saw hope on the face of the grieving husband. I saw hope on the face of the grieving daughter. I saw hope on the face of the grieving son.

Hope found in the faith of the promise made by Jesus that while she may now be dead and lost to them, they will see her again.

Such a simple formula, understanding that we sin and we can never stop sinning, understanding that Jesus is the son of God and perfect, accepting Jesus into your heart and giving up all your sin to him so that it can be wiped clean on the cross and then allow the Holy Spirit to come in. 30 seconds maybe...?

And that allows these three people access to his promises...that death is not the final answer...life is to be found at the end of the road not oblivion.

The loss is still felt, the questions about cancer and fairness will remain unanswered, fear of the future and the new journey alone will all remain. But the small bright light in the far distance in the midst of the darkness is hope.


Luke 23:43
Jesus answered him, "I tell you the truth, today you will be with me in paradise."

2 Timothy 1:10
but it has now been revealed through the appearing of our Savior, Christ Jesus, who has destroyed death and has brought life and immortality to light through the gospel.

John 6:47
I tell you the truth, he who believes has everlasting life.

Revelation 21:4
He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."

Friday, May 30, 2008

Another one lost


I was at work when a friend and teammate came in and told me that another one of his friends on a different department had committed suicide earlier this week with his service weapon in the front lot of his department in his personal car.

These acts are becoming alarmingly and tragically too common. We are currently killing ourselves at a rate higher than twice the rate at which we are murdered. We are worse on ourselves than the bad guys are on us.

Law enforcement now has the highest rate of suicide when compared to any other profession.

We are trained and strive to be independent and emotionally bullet proof. There are no easy answers to this problem. But each and everyone one of us can take positive actions to at least stem the bloody tide, lets all start right now and really pay attention to the officers around us. Ask questions and become more involved in their lives and INTERVENE. Maybe one of us can help another not become one of them.

John 13:34
"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.

Romans 12:10
Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.