Explorations in Policing, Faith and Life (With a hint of humor, product reviews, news and whatever catches my attention)

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Thoughts from the Wire



Just a couple of thoughts that I gathered spending hour after hour on phone intercepts for the last decade or so, at least it seems like a decade.




• No one uses their articles and prepositions’. Don’t think this is a generalization based on creed or ethnicity or home country or origin or religion or social position or education or income level. “You com’n here?” is universal. I wore out the backspace button on my keyboard taking out the “of” “a” “an” “the” “if” etc that I thought was in there when it was not.



• The use of “ing” at the end of a verb is a dying art. Clearly the “g” was late for work and the car pool left without him. “Comin’” “goin” “itchen” “swinn’”. I am going to put up posters on telephone poles to see if anyone has my lost “g” and will return him for an award.



• The proper contraction for “going to” is “gonna”.



• The word “what” has retired, it has been replaced on the job by “uh?”.



• Every drug boss ends up being better than almost all bosses I have ever had. Really, much, much, better in fact. I wonder if I promised to work for him would he stop doing that pesky, murder thing.



• Everyone calls their best friend and demeans someone else. Soon that someone else calls and when they realize who it is they pitch up their voice and say, “Hey dude, been thinking of you”.



• Everyone thinks they are getting ripped off. The other guy is always making more money, selling more product or tagging more women. Strangely that’s true for men and …women.



• Everyone but you is stupid.



• Everyone is an informant.



• Cops are fools, till they get lucky and catch you for the fifth time.



• A ten o’clock meeting for tomorrow in the drug store parking lot really means two weeks from last Wednesday on the night of a full moon in the MacDonald’s parking lot. It’s not code, yet somehow they all know, really, everyone one of them, they all know.



• If you meet a girl at a club for the first time and she lets you take her home that night don’t start dating her. Unless you want to find out that when she is not at your house she’s at your best friend’s house.



• The use of code words always breaks down because the members of the gang forget what the code means and have to explain that a “light bulb” is a pack of heroin..........................................every other phone call.



• That the local drug dealer with millions in the bank is still going to use his/her Link card to buy groceries.  They are owed it.



• Every cop out there is watching you...just...you.



• Every hype stutters.


·         You date you don’t ever, ever, ever marry.



·         The F-word is quite efficient.  It is a noun, verb, adjective and adverb.


·          Listening to other people swear is contagious.  I told my daughter in a nice conversational tone the other day to “practice you mother f@#$%^& piano”.



Proper way to decline a verb:

Indicative

  • Present Perfect: I run, you run, she runs, we run, they run, I have run, you have run, she has run, we have run, they have run
  • Past Pluperfect: I ran, you ran, she ran, we ran, they ran, I had run, you had run, she had run, we had run, they had run
  • Future Future perfect: I will run, you will run, she will run, we will run, they will run, I will have run, you will have run, she will have run, we will have run, they will have run
  • Imperative Present run! let's run!
Conditional
  • Present Perfect: I would run, you would run, she would run, we would run, they would run, I would have run, you would have run, she would have run, we would have run, they would have run
Conjunctive

  • Present Perfect: I run, you run, she run, we run, they run, I have run, you have run, she have run, we have run, they have run
  • Past Pluperfect: I ran, you ran, she ran, we ran, they ran, I had run, you had run, she had run, we had run, they had run
Participle

  • Gerund Past: running, run

Phone Intercept Verb Declination

Indicative

  • Present Perfect: I go, you go, she go, we go, they go, I have go, you have go, she has go, we have go, they have go
  • Past Pluperfect: I go, you go, she go, we go, they go, I had go, you had go, she had go, we had go, they had go
  • Future Future perfect: I will go, you will go, she will go, we will go, they will go, I will have go, you will have go, she will have go, we will have go, they will have go
  • Imperative Present go! let's go!

Conditional

  • Present Perfect: I would go, you would go, she would go, we would go, they would go, I would have go, you would have go, she would have go, we would have go, they would have go

Conjunctive

  • Present Perfect: I go, you go, she go, we go, they go, I have go, you have go, she have go, we have go, they have go
  • Past Pluperfect: I go, you go, she go, we go, they go, I had go, you had go, she had go, we had go, they had go

Participle
  • Gerund Past: gonn', go



and finally...

  • If you loose the target and your on surveillence its the phone rooms fault, unless your in the phone room then its surveillence fault.  Meeting to follow.



2 Samuel 10:3

the Ammonite commanders said to Hanun their lord, “Do you think David is honoring your father by sending envoys to you to express sympathy? Hasn’t David sent them to you only to explore the city and spy it out and overthrow it?”

1 comment:

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